A 22-foot golden statue of Trump. Funded by crypto bros. Blessed by a pastor who swore it wasn't a golden calf. Gas was $4.56 a gallon that same week. March 2026: Crypto investors spend $450,000 having a sculptor cast a 22-foot bronze statue of Trump and cover it in gold leaf — then use it to promote a memecoin called $PATRIOT. April 28: "Don Colossus" is installed at Trump National Doral golf course ahead of the PGA Cadillac Championship. May 6: Evangelical pastor Mark Burns leads a formal dedication ceremony, tells reporters: "This is not a golden calf." May 7: Gas hits $4.56/gallon. The Trump Presidential Library announces plans for $1 billion in fundraising and two more golden statues in the lobby.
