Baby Trump just called an emergency press conference from the Oval Playpen to announce a “spectacular military success” — the complete destruction of Iran’s nuclear block towers. 💣🧱 Backed by Baby Bibi and a battalion of diapered pilots, Trump explains how the meanies across the sandbox were building “very bad, very dangerous things” in Natanz and Esfahan. But not anymore. 🛩️ "We flew the big machines. We wiped the toys. No one’s ever seen a mission like this — not even close." 👶 Declares himself “King of the Crib,” warns Iran to make peace or face snack time suspension. Also: Baby Trump congratulates Baby General Kane and Baby Pete H.G.S.T.H (still unclear who that is) Gives thanks to God, America, and “the magnificent babies in uniform.”
